Student #1 talking to Student #2
Student #3: Can you stop talking to this beautiful woman and look at me for a sec?
Pass Fail Score: -62Unknown
Teacher: Now your homework for the weekend is to take a long hard look at yourself naked in the mirror and just think about how much you’ve evolved since you were a little baby.
Pass Fail Score: 37Health and Human Relations Class
Orientation leader, explaining why her office is closed on Friday
Orientation Leader: August 29th is my birthday.
Male student: smiling Hey, me too!
Orientation leader: So we’re both virgins then!
Pass Fail Score: 26Student Tutor Orientation, OCC, Michigan
Teacher’s Assistant: Hey, You’re tardy again.
Student: You know, I find that really offensive.
Teacher’s Assistant: Pardon?
Student: First of all, you shouldn’t use that as an insult, and second, the term is ‘mentally-disabled.’
Pass Fail Score: 33English Literature Tutorial Session
Freshman Girl 1: How was your weekend?
Freshman Girl 2: Oh my gawd, amazing! I had sex with D.
Freshman Girl 1: No fucking way. I had sex with D last weekend.
Pass Fail Score: -2Unknown Location
Teacher: Imagine you are on a beach. Feel the sand between your toes, the ocean spray, and the suns warmth. Now, imagine that Jesus is there, he is next to you, what is he trying to tell you?
Student: SHARK!
Pass Fail Score: 191st Period Religion
Teacher: For the last time! Yes ,there is opium in poppy seeds bu-
Student: I better get some bagels!
Pass Fail Score: -47th Grade Reading
Teacher: People are so lazy when it comes to protecting their identity, and I was guilty of it too, until I got screwed - literally.
Pass Fail Score: 22Criminal Law Class, Cranston HS West
Teacher: I finished my oatmeal and had moved on to my applesauce.
Student: You’re old!
Pass Fail Score: -20Unknown location
Professor: …and that’s how you get out of the country without a fine. Or a jail term.
Pass Fail Score: 29Linguistics 101