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You show me yours, I’ll show you mine

2 Football players and 2 cheerleaders are sitting in a small group towards the front of the classroom. The cheerleader were asking the guys how old they were when they learned to masturbate and then asked how often they do it.

Football player #1: Two maybe Three times a day.

Football player #2: Two times a day for sure!

Football player #1: (to cheerleader #1) How often do you masturbate?

Cheerleader #1: giggle

Football player #2: WAIT!!! Girls can masturbate too!??!!

Teacher: Shhhh! (walks away laughing and shaking his head)

5th Period Algebra 2

Pass Fail Score: 26%

Just like magic

Professor: [describing some assistive technology] It’s kinda like electricity - we don’t know how it works, but it does!

Location Unknown

Pass Fail Score: 23%

Words mean nothing

Professor: I strongly urge you to read A Daughter of Han by Thursday

Student: Strongly Urge? I thought it was required?!

Professor: It is, but based on your last test, ‘requiring’ doesn’t seem to mean much anymore.

History 435, Sonoma State University

Pass Fail Score: 22%

That’s one way to go

Student: How does he die?

Professor: By being killed to death.

History 335, Sonoma State University

Pass Fail Score: 25%

This planet stinks

Professor: The Mongols smell bad, because they were dessert people, and ate a lot of meat and cheese.

Student: Isn’t that what the Japanese said about the Europeans?

Professor: Probably true, until McDonald’s opened up in Japan.

History 335, Sonoma State University

Pass Fail Score: 21%

That’ll show her

Professor: There’s an old saying in China. Well, there’s a lot of old sayings in China… and one of them is “A woman is like a wheelbarrow, if you don’t kick her every 3 days, she stops working.”

History 335, Sonoma State University

Pass Fail Score: 18%

That would explain the lack of typos

Guy1: That was one wordy text message.

Guy2: 500 characters

Guy1: Either she has a thesaurus in front of her, or she’s sober.

Hallway of Darwin Hall, Sonoma State University

Pass Fail Score: 22%

When Life Becomes a Download

Teacher: OOAD2 is like the sequel of OOAD1.

Friend (looking up from his game): Huh? Is it like a TV series?

Friend 2: Go look up tvrss.net. Maybe there’s a torrent for it.

OOAD2 Lecture, Ngee Ann Polytechnic, Singapore

Pass Fail Score: 17%

Least she’s not buying pot

Student finds out how much she’s getting back for her books

Student: Sweet! I can pay off my parking fines!

SSU Bookstore

Pass Fail Score: 24%

They could build a fire…

Student 1: But, we’re building a house a sticks. Why would you need a swing?

Student 2: Well what else are you supposed to do all the time in there? Just stare at sticks?

5th Grade Classroom

Pass Fail Score: 24%