Professor: I strongly urge you to read A Daughter of Han by Thursday
Student: Strongly Urge? I thought it was required?!
Professor: It is, but based on your last test, ‘requiring’ doesn’t seem to mean much anymore.
Pass Fail Score: -27History 435, Sonoma State University
Student: How does he die?
Professor: By being killed to death.
Pass Fail Score: 27History 335, Sonoma State University
Professor: The Mongols smell bad, because they were dessert people, and ate a lot of meat and cheese.
Student: Isn’t that what the Japanese said about the Europeans?
Professor: Probably true, until McDonald’s opened up in Japan.
Pass Fail Score: -37History 335, Sonoma State University
Professor: There’s an old saying in China. Well, there’s a lot of old sayings in China… and one of them is “A woman is like a wheelbarrow, if you don’t kick her every 3 days, she stops working.”
Pass Fail Score: -77History 335, Sonoma State University
Guy1: That was one wordy text message.
Guy2: 500 characters
Guy1: Either she has a thesaurus in front of her, or she’s sober.
Pass Fail Score: -32Hallway of Darwin Hall, Sonoma State University
Teacher: OOAD2 is like the sequel of OOAD1.
Friend (looking up from his game): Huh? Is it like a TV series?
Friend 2: Go look up tvrss.net. Maybe there’s a torrent for it.
Pass Fail Score: -95OOAD2 Lecture, Ngee Ann Polytechnic, Singapore
Student finds out how much she’s getting back for her books
Student: Sweet! I can pay off my parking fines!
Pass Fail Score: -7SSU Bookstore
Student 1: But, we’re building a house a sticks. Why would you need a swing?
Student 2: Well what else are you supposed to do all the time in there? Just stare at sticks?
Pass Fail Score: -175th Grade Classroom
While trying to name all fifty states
Eager Fifth Grader: I know! I know! (Yells out) Pennasula!
Pass Fail Score: -16Fifth Grade Classroom
Guy 1: I hope you don’t mind, but I’m gonna stab her.
Guy 2: Please don’t get blood all over my car.
Guy 1: No worries, it’ll come off with salt.
Girl 1: And why is that?
Guy 1: Because your blood is nothing but red wine!
Pass Fail Score: -14Parking Lot J, Sonoma State University